Communication through Breastfeeding

“Welcome to the Milk Mama Diaries Carnival (August). For this month, we join the World Alliance for Breastfeeding Action in it’s “Talk to Me!” theme where participants will share personal experiences, insights or recommendations in communicating breastfeeding intentions and goals to their support system. Please scroll down to the end of this post and check out the other carnival participants.”

Left: newborn. Right: nine months

August is such a special month for our family. It was Papa’s birthday/ninth death anniversary two weeks ago and I celebrated with this blog post. Lolo, Lola, and Mama will also celebrate their birthdays in the coming days. In a week and a half, our daughter will have her first birthday party! Her birth date is so special that she chose it herself. Read related posts here and here.

We don’t only celebrate her birthday on the end of this month, we also celebrate two other things: one is the first year of parenthood for me and my husband. The other is the Feast Day of St. Raymond Nonato, the patron saint of expectant mothers, childbirth and children. And it’s Breastfeeding Month! Oh, how I love this month!

Having breastfed our firstborn for the past year is a big achievement for me. I can’t imagine how I’ve hurdled the past year — the sleepless nights, midnight snacks, occasional pumping (manual pump AND hand expressing!), nonstop whining and crying (that’s me, not the baby!), multi-tasking, battle with nursing bras and covers, etc., etc. It was hard work, and I feel like rewarding myself for this feat.

I used to be a busy bee. I work here and there and I work hard. I actively volunteer in church handling the children’s choir and the entire music ministry as coordinator, I sing and travel a lot. All of a sudden, pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding put me to a full stop.

But slowly, I’m working my way to do all those mentioned above. I’ve checked all that, except travel. Haven’t gone beyond the city yet.

I had to deal with several people in this breastfeeding journey. And I will not last this far if not for these people.

The Husband. Your co-maker should always be your number one supporter. He may be your number one critic sometimes. My husband repeatedly challenged me with “If you’re tired breastfeeding, we can always switch to formula.” I never gave in! Now he tells me, if you want to shop, charge it to your credit card and I’ll take care of it. Who can say no to that!

Another thing is that he believed in breastfeeding. He accompanied me in all the La Leche League meetings I wanted to attend. He would sometimes be the only dad in the circle but he wouldn’t mind. He even took notes on our first meeting and blogged about it here.

The Mother. I knew I’d be facing a lot of debate with my mother just because she is my mother. She was the first one who told me to buy bottles in preparation for giving birth (which I never did, so she bought me a couple). I even tore a diaper’s side tape in exasperation after hearing my mom tell me that if I want my baby to get fat, I should give her formula because that’s the norm!

But she saw how I tried my best to provide only breastmilk to my daughter. And with her support and guidance, even if she didn’t know a lot about breastfeeding, we were successful. She gives my daughter expressed milk when I’m at work.

The OB-GYN. If there’s someone who supported me fully in this journey, it is my OB-GYN. From pregnancy until after giving birth, she didn’t doubt that I can sustain breastfeeding.

The Pediatrician. If there’s someone I wish who supported me it’s our pediatrician. When my daughter was eight months old she wondered why I was still breastfeeding. Well, I still have milk! I asked her if after one year I can give whole milk to my daughter, she tells me “why not give her formula instead?” I told her that I will still carry on breastfeeding and that there’s nothing wrong with whole milk after one year, just in case she didn’t know. She just said, “Okay.” Yes, she is very unsupportive. I even heard from others that she’s a breastfeeding advocate. Not true!

The Pediatrician’s Secretary. She gives me Miss Tapia looks when I breastfeed in the clinic. She even asked if the baby sling I was using was from a tribe which I might belong to. I wish she was informed that breastfeeding is not bad at all and baby slings are not a thing of the past.

The religious community. The church where I belong to has been very supportive and understanding  of our desire to breastfeed, especially our Rector. They know for a fact that we don’t have a helper nor a yaya so it’s just us three (Daddy, Mommy, Baby) when we hear Mass, attend meetings, rehearsals, sing for the Mass. The occasional babysitters are there (my mom and sister) but the weekly church duties are tough for us. When I have meetings to attend, the Daddy takes care of baby. I give them expressed milk and they go malling. They all know how loud my baby is so I really appreciate it that they’ve been very forgiving, especially when I miss deadlines for churchwork or miss Masses.

The community. I laud all the efforts being done to promote breastfeeding. But I think it should start from nursing moms themselves. I don’t nurse in breastfeeding stations anymore after encountering a snooty nurse at the mall clinic who would not let our stroller in when it was just me and my baby strolling around. So I don’t care when or where I am and my daughter would start pulling down my shirt or shouting “dedede” endlessly. We nurse.

Then there are a few people who would give you nasty looks on one hand, smile and ask about breastfeeding on the other. I always love talking with like-minded and open-minded people. Breastfeeding is not best, it’s normal!

It has been a great year for me and my baby, and we don’t have any plans to stop breastfeeding yet. My baby has nursed all the more especially when she bumps herself or stumbles, when she’s teething, or when she’s really really sleepy.

The challenges of the first year I successfully hurdled. Now the next challenge for us is taking care of a rambunctious toddler who is super hyper, smart, and cute. And we love her like that.

Now, it’s time to give back. Talk to me about breastfeeding and I’ll be ready to help!

~ Touringkitty

My ever supportive husband blogged again for this carnival!

Anthony’s Six persuasion tips for breastfeeding moms and advocates

Super cheers to all these wonderful breastfriends:

DaintyMom’s Creating a Pro-Breastfeeding Culture in the Family (Facebook and Twitter: @Dainty_Mom)
Wifely Steps’ On Breastfeeding: Say It, Claim It, Get Support! (Facebook and Twitter: @macaronigirl)
Truly Rich Mom’s How To Get Others to Support You in Breastfeeding (Facebookand Twitter: @tinasrodriguez)
EthanMama’s My Best Breastfeeding Support System – My Husband (Twitter: @ethanmama)
Raising Baby Lia’s A Shoutout to my Breastfeeding Buddies
Jen CC Tan’s I’m Breastfeeding, and That’s That! (Facebook and Twitter: @next9baby)
Project Blog by Kate’s Talk and Make it Happen (Facebook and Twitter: @kate_demetrio)
My Mommy Kwentos’ How I Recruited my Top Breastfeeding Buddies (Facebook)
Apples & Dumplings Communicating and First Time Breastfeeders (Twitter: @apple_dumplings)
I’m a Newbie Wife’s How I Taught My Family to Breastfeed
TouringKitty’s Communication Through Breastfeeding (Twitter: @Touringkitty)
Mec as Mom’s Pre-Natal Pediatric Consultations Are Necessary
Escie’s World’s Ready, Get Set, Go! for Breastfeeding (Twitter: @Escielicious)
Nanaystrip’s BreasTALK : Text, Retweet, Share your Knowledge and Experiences(Twitter: @bunsonimaestro)
Superwomom’s A-S-Ks (on breastfeeding questions, help, support) (Twitter: @dsedilla)
Go Help Yourself’s “6 persuasion tips for breastfeeding moms and advocates”
Legally Mom’s Breastfeeding Talk Between Me and My Formula Fed Daughter(Facebook and Twitter: @legallymomPH)
Handy Mommy’s Couple’s Communication and Decision: Key to Successful Breastfeeding
Chronicles of a Nursing Mom’s Effective Communication Bucket List (Facebookand Twitter: @mamababylove)

Friends Forever

Friendship is forever, says Angelina Ballerina.

I don’t know why I believe that cutesy little cartoon mouse, but I think she’s right.

Three’s a company. That’s what we are.

Three Stooges? Videoke Night with soldiers.

Before the baby popped out last year. A dinner was hosted by our most favorite Chief of Staff.

This time three years ago, I started my first office job fresh from college. I had no clue that I’d end up a writer after taking up music for eight years. I stayed at my job for a year and three months, and now, all three of us walked different paths.

The past two days, I did what any normal friend would do — after a long time of being in absentia — catch up with both of them, but in two different occasions.

You see, K just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl,

Em and Aria, Kim and Kiev

And A was in the area, specifically at Mall of Asia.

Aria and Arla

We’re kindred souls, I believe. We always share a good laugh, we graduated from the same school, we eat lunch together in office, we love our families so dearly and we (K and I) now have families of our own. But we never lose touch of each other.

I’m glad I still have friends who are in Manila, as most of my dear friends are already abroad.

Trio pic waiting. See you soon, girls!

 

~ Touringkitty